Essays Life 20 Years From Now Friendship

One night, we even made ourselves blood sisters, convinced our friendship would last forever. The pinprick on my palm has faded – the memory hasn’t.

It’s why I feel for the one in ten people in the UK – about five million – who say they don’t have a single close friend to call on. Because having a best friend is one of the most important things in life - and losing that bond is far worse than any other relationship break up.

Trust me, I know. A few months after my BFF and I stopped talking, I broke up with my first serious boyfriend. As tough as it was, it was nothing on losing my pal.

It would have been harder for Bridge to lose Shazza

I might have howled into ice cream at the time, thinking I’d be alone forever, but that faded. Four years on, I don’t really think much about him and I’m happy with someone else.

READ: 'Relationship problems with our close friends can be as painful as with a lover'

But, when I think about my former best friend, I still feel a tinge of sadness. We never had a proper ‘break up’, so I didn’t just go into a grieving period and move on. This was so much more gradual and no amount of ice cream could solve it. Now, even though I’m lucky enough to join the 91 per cent of people who have at least one good friend – I’d go so far as to say I have four - I still think about that one particular BFF.

It’s impossible not to. We grew up together, we learnt to battle our teen insecurities and breakdowns together and we shared things in the way only girls can. She’s the person I confided my ‘OMG so embarrassing’ moments to and she’s the only who made me stop crying with humiliation, and start crying with laughter. No one else gets it when I scream, 'I'm the Mary and you're the Rhoda' (ok, it's a Romy and Michelle reference).

Romy and Michelle

That kind of bonding, and knowledge about your teenage self, is something you just don’t get with a boyfriend. It’s why I think it’s particularly sad that the study also shows that one in five people said they rarely, or never feel, loved. Maybe they’re single and thinking in terms of romantic love. But I’m inclined to think that these are some of the same people who said they don’t have a close friend.

Because if they did, they would definitely feel loved. It’s a different kind of love to an all-consuming romantic one. But it’s solid, safe and smells of Earl Grey, toast and loads of chocolate. You always expect it to be there.

That’s why it’s so bloody hard when you fall apart, or let the friendship peter out just because you’re too busy focusing on your own life. Suddenly, you don’t feel so loved anymore. You’re downright lonely.

It’s been at least four years since my best friend and I broke-up and judging from Facebook she’s pretty happy. I am too. But I still wish we had our friendship. Letting it fade away is one of my biggest regrets.

It’s why I secretly hope she reads this article and doesn’t just think I’m stuck in the past, but gets it. I know we can't go back to being Lizzie and Jane Bennet running around her garden, and that we've missed out on 48 months of major goss and life developments. But, well, maybe we can get back together, or at least go for a drink. Best friends are worth it.

Do you agree - or are you Radhika's long lost BFF? Get in touch on Twitter with Radhika Sanghani and Tele Wonder Women

Using a frame story for the introduction and conclusion should be familiar to you from lots of movies.One good example of a story frame is UP. In this case, the movie opens with the frame of Carl looking at the scrapbook Ellie has made for him about their life and dreams, before flashing to the present story of Carl and Russell and their adventures. The movie returns to the frame at the end of the movie as Carl looks at the last page of the photobook Ellie has made for him. He learns that it was the journey of the relationship which was the real adventure.

Another kind of frame can be a flashback. In this technique, you start in the middle of the action (or after it is over) and then flashback to an earlier memory. The Notebook uses the story of a man spending time with his wife with Alzheimer's as the frame for his re-telling the story of their romance.

The advantage of using a frame is that it makes it easier for you to talk about the meaning of the story, especially if you use the present day to flashback to the past. Be sure the frame is not just random. There should be an event, object, conversation, or situation which causes you to flash back in memory.

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